Abstinence
I used to think that the only way to recover from binge eating disorder or food addiction was to abstain from highly addictive foods. I wasn't able to moderate my sugar intake so when I ate my "forbidden foods", I'd binge on everything in sight.
In order to stop binging, I started using the abstinence rules:
- Eating 3 meals a day
- No snacks between meals
- Measure my meals
- No sugar
- No flour
My cravings went away once I successfully abstained for several days. It got easier but mu abstinence lasted 6 months the first time I did it. When I went on vacation, it was so complicated. I was miserable. I ended up relapsing when I went off my plan. I'd start my abstinence again and eventually relapsed. I hated this life style. It may work for some people but it wasn't for me.
A vicious cycle
When I stopped restricting, I started to binge again. The non stop binging lasted for about 1 to 1.5 years. Part of the problem was that I'd go on a diet when I gained too much weight. I was so terrified of the weight gain that I'd start either dieting and/or abstinence again. I was miserable!
I stopped dieting (for good)
I decided that abstinence wasn't for me. I didn't want to live my life this way. Always obsessing about food, binging and always going on a diet. So I decided to stop dieting. Over time, my binges decreased and were smaller.
- Am I still obese? Yes.
- Am I still binging? On occasion
- Am I happier? Yes
The point is that when I stopped dieting, a new world opened up to me:
- I eat what I want when I want
- I don't restrict any food groups
- I stop eating when I'm full
- I'm not obsessed about food anymore
- I eat sweets in moderation (says the girl who used to say moderation doesn't work for me)
I'd love to lose weight but the important part of my recovery from binge eating disorder right now is to stop binging. Part of my recovery is also to stop overeating. But for now, let's stay focused on the present moment. And I'm enjoying my food. There is no bad or good foods.
